Music

Yes, this is about a month too late, but as we used to say in my house when I was growing up "Better late than dead". 

I've been on a personal quest for the last several years to find Christmas music that is both enjoyable, uplifting, and decidedly NOT top 40. Tired of having my ears bleed every year when the tripe starts. Here is a brief list of some of my favorites:

1. Lower Light "Come Let Us Adore Him". Twangy, folk-song rendition of many favorites. I found the vocals to be weak on some songs, but still much better than Paul McCartney's crappy Christmas song.

2. Lorie Line "Sharing the Season". Piano and instrumental. I first heard her about eleventy billion years ago, but her music never gets old.

3. Straight, No Chaser "Christmas Cheers". A Capella group singing everything from Greensleeves to Donde Esta Santa Claus. Very fun and very talented.

4. "Christmas Carols" by Musica Sacra & directed by Richard Westenberg. Wow. All I can say is that listening to this cd truly is a sacred experience. They sing a mean Handel's Messiah, too.

5. Los Straightjackets "Tis the Season for Los Straightjackets". Instrumental electric guitar, with a garage band, beach vibe. Give it a listen - Here Comes Santa Claus is one of my faves. 

The Nutcracker

On the 23rd, we all gussied ourselves up and went to the ballet. Richmond Ballet's version of The Nutcracker did not dissapoint. At all. Vibrant costumes, talented dancers (who pointed their feet!), fabulous music - in short, it was a great show.

However  - and you knew there would be one, because I always have a however - the audience was awful. I'm not just talking about the regular ridiculousness associated with crowds and people. No, this was serious breach of etiquette.

First, the ballet was supposed to start at 7:00 p.m. It surprised me that at 6:55, most of our row was still empty, especially since the lights had already flickered, and the chime had sounded.  At 7:05, the lights went down and the orchestra began playing the overture. The people behind us talked the entire time, which really annoyed me, until I became even more annoyed by the stream of people stepping over us to find their seats. In the dark. As the curtain rose. I thought the ushers did a poor job of ushering patrons to their seats on time. I've always been under the impression that if you are late to the ballet, you get to wait until the first intermission to find your seat. Apparently that's no longer the case. By 7:15, the last people had trickled to their seats. The very last person stepping over us said "I'm so sorry. Merry Christmas!" about five times. By the time she passed Mark, he muttered "I'm Jewish".

Second, the people behind us were ..... interesting. About halfway through the party scene, one of them said loudly "When do they start talking?". Not a child, either. A grown person asking when the dialog would start at a ballet. It took all of my self control not to turn around and give her a hairy eyeball. Oh geeze. Don't even get me started on the rustling of wrappers and chomping of candy or nuts taking place behind me throughout the show.

Third, when the ballet was over, and all the dancers came out for their bows, several in the audience gave standing ovations. I happened to recognize a couple of the standers a row or two in front of me as parents of one of my students, whom I knew danced in the ballet. The person behind me yelled "Siddown" and threw something at them. Probably a peanut. This time, I had no self control, and I did turn around and give them the stink eye.

Oh Em Gee. Just when I think people can't get any stupider, they do.

So, it's that time of year again

when everyone at school is scrambling to get ready for exams

when students are asking if they can turn in late work and still get credit for assignments originally due in October

when parents start sending frantic emails about how their kid will do whatever extra credit necessary to get a better grade

when Utah natives living in Virginia start wishing for a blanket of snow, or at least temperatures that might require a coat or gloves

when packages from amazon.com start arriving daily on our doorstep

when I start wondering if my child still believes in Santa Claus

when I start debating whether or not to send out Christmas cards.

Not That You Asked.....

But here's what I've been spending all my internet time on for the past couple of months.

THE WEBPAGE OF DOOM.

Don't believe me? Just ask my students.

Things I Never Dreamed I'd Hear Myself Say At A Private School*

"Please stop playing with your udders."

"I don't want to see your laser gun that doubles as a pencil the rest of the class period."

"Look up the definition with your iphone." 

"Middle aged people can too plank."

"That blow dart thingy looks like it might be a pretty useful writing instrument."

List to be continued....

*This is not to be confused with things I sometimes want to say to my students, but really shouldn't.