Long time, no blog -

Sorry about that. If anyone is even out there. Anyone? Anyone? 

The last quarter of this school year has begun, and it's going to be painful. First, let me just reiterate how much I enjoy teaching where I do. It's a great place for both students and teachers alike. Small class size, a lot of individual attention, time to actually work with students who struggle - all things I think are imperative to a healthy and productive learning environment. 

That being said, I need to vent. Today report cards from 3rd quarter went home, complete with teacher comments. Writing comments is always difficult because I have to dance around what I really want to say. What is it about honesty that makes people so uncomfortable anyway? 

If parents really wanted to hear the truth, this is what I would tell them: 

When your student's grades are lower than what you think is acceptable, CHECK THEIR HOMEWORK. Even high school students - especially high school students who are struggling. Ask to see it, and ask for an explanation of what the assignment required. Don't accept "I dunno" as an answer. Asking to see their homework makes them accountable, and eliminates the Bermuda Triangle of homework. You know what I'm talking about, right? Student tells the teacher that he works better at home, or left his book at home, or something, and then he tells his parents that he completed his homework at school. Somewhere between home, school, and the truth is that blasted homework assignment, just waiting to be completed. 

Require that your student study at the kitchen table, without the ipod, iphone, or laptop. Seriously. When any one of those devices is necessary to complete the assignment, it should be in full parental view. When a student goes up to her room to do her homework, and closes the door, I can tell you for certain that only minimal studying is going on, if any at all. Students have made multitasking a competetive sport, and while they are "studying" in front of a computer, they are also on facebook, and tumblr, and youtube, and any number of other websites they find far more interesting than homework. Then, in between all the pointing and clicking, students are texting and pinging each other. It's ridiculous. Seriously. Oh, and homework? What homework? I have homework? 

Same goes for studying. Ask your student to talk you through the study guide, or the notes that have been covered prior to the test. Ask what interesting vocabulary words they are learning, or maybe as what "lame" vocabulary words they are studying. Then try to help them listen for the words on the news or on the radio. Mostly, just listen to them summarize, explain, and review their work. Don't interject, intervene, or correct. If something doesn't sound right, try saying "You might want to double check that - it doesn't sound right", or you may even want to check your own resources and go back later to your student with something like "You know, I was thinking about it, and looked up some information. What do you think about this?" 

The other thing I wish I could tell parents is that their child breaks dress code on a regular basis. Not just girls, either. Buy your son a belt, and teach him how it is meant to be worn. Tell him to save the swagger for after school. Ask him if he would like to see his teacher's underwear hanging out, or worse, his parent's underwear. Ick. Tell him we feel the same about his underwear. 

To the parents of girls, I wish I could tell them to explain that school is not the time and place for sexy beach wear. Make them sit in front of a full length mirror in that mini skirt, and let them see just how much information they share with the world in that kind of skirt. Show her what happens to the back of her skirt when she hikes her backpack over her shoulder.  Ask her if she would feel comfortable leaning over to pick something up, and if the answer is no, then the skirt is not for school. 

The last thing I would like to tell parents is to teach their students how to be problem solvers. So many times a student will come to class and say, "My printer was out of ink", or "I forgot my book", or "I lost my pencil", fully intending to let this stop them, or worse, expecting to be excused from the consequences of not being prepared. My automatic response is "How are you going to fix that?" and then "How are you going to keep it from happening again?". Many of my students create distractions, and problems for themselves, but they are unwilling or unable to create solutions to their own problems despite having a school library full of computers, printers, extra books, and extra pencils. 

I also have to remind myself that I teach freshmen. Even though many of them are my height or taller, they are like puppies with huge paws - paws that will someday be the right size to support their weight, but for now just seem like floppy, useless appendages. I'm helping them grow in to those paws. The students I teach this year will learn these lessons eventually, but I'll be dealing with a new group of puppies. 

Music

Yes, this is about a month too late, but as we used to say in my house when I was growing up "Better late than dead". 

I've been on a personal quest for the last several years to find Christmas music that is both enjoyable, uplifting, and decidedly NOT top 40. Tired of having my ears bleed every year when the tripe starts. Here is a brief list of some of my favorites:

1. Lower Light "Come Let Us Adore Him". Twangy, folk-song rendition of many favorites. I found the vocals to be weak on some songs, but still much better than Paul McCartney's crappy Christmas song.

2. Lorie Line "Sharing the Season". Piano and instrumental. I first heard her about eleventy billion years ago, but her music never gets old.

3. Straight, No Chaser "Christmas Cheers". A Capella group singing everything from Greensleeves to Donde Esta Santa Claus. Very fun and very talented.

4. "Christmas Carols" by Musica Sacra & directed by Richard Westenberg. Wow. All I can say is that listening to this cd truly is a sacred experience. They sing a mean Handel's Messiah, too.

5. Los Straightjackets "Tis the Season for Los Straightjackets". Instrumental electric guitar, with a garage band, beach vibe. Give it a listen - Here Comes Santa Claus is one of my faves. 

The Nutcracker

On the 23rd, we all gussied ourselves up and went to the ballet. Richmond Ballet's version of The Nutcracker did not dissapoint. At all. Vibrant costumes, talented dancers (who pointed their feet!), fabulous music - in short, it was a great show.

However  - and you knew there would be one, because I always have a however - the audience was awful. I'm not just talking about the regular ridiculousness associated with crowds and people. No, this was serious breach of etiquette.

First, the ballet was supposed to start at 7:00 p.m. It surprised me that at 6:55, most of our row was still empty, especially since the lights had already flickered, and the chime had sounded.  At 7:05, the lights went down and the orchestra began playing the overture. The people behind us talked the entire time, which really annoyed me, until I became even more annoyed by the stream of people stepping over us to find their seats. In the dark. As the curtain rose. I thought the ushers did a poor job of ushering patrons to their seats on time. I've always been under the impression that if you are late to the ballet, you get to wait until the first intermission to find your seat. Apparently that's no longer the case. By 7:15, the last people had trickled to their seats. The very last person stepping over us said "I'm so sorry. Merry Christmas!" about five times. By the time she passed Mark, he muttered "I'm Jewish".

Second, the people behind us were ..... interesting. About halfway through the party scene, one of them said loudly "When do they start talking?". Not a child, either. A grown person asking when the dialog would start at a ballet. It took all of my self control not to turn around and give her a hairy eyeball. Oh geeze. Don't even get me started on the rustling of wrappers and chomping of candy or nuts taking place behind me throughout the show.

Third, when the ballet was over, and all the dancers came out for their bows, several in the audience gave standing ovations. I happened to recognize a couple of the standers a row or two in front of me as parents of one of my students, whom I knew danced in the ballet. The person behind me yelled "Siddown" and threw something at them. Probably a peanut. This time, I had no self control, and I did turn around and give them the stink eye.

Oh Em Gee. Just when I think people can't get any stupider, they do.

So, it's that time of year again

when everyone at school is scrambling to get ready for exams

when students are asking if they can turn in late work and still get credit for assignments originally due in October

when parents start sending frantic emails about how their kid will do whatever extra credit necessary to get a better grade

when Utah natives living in Virginia start wishing for a blanket of snow, or at least temperatures that might require a coat or gloves

when packages from amazon.com start arriving daily on our doorstep

when I start wondering if my child still believes in Santa Claus

when I start debating whether or not to send out Christmas cards.

Not That You Asked.....

But here's what I've been spending all my internet time on for the past couple of months.

THE WEBPAGE OF DOOM.

Don't believe me? Just ask my students.