With Apologies to Jack Prelutsky

Hormones! Oh hormones!

I hate you!  You stink!

I wish I could wash you away in the sink!

If only some chocolate would

     would end all your fits. 

Hormones! Oh, Hormones!

You’re giving me zits.

I’d rather have freckles or translucent skin,

or dry flaky patches on the side of my chin,

Need lotions and potions

     with spf one-ten

than suffer the acne and wrinkles my hormones combine.

Hormones! Oh, Hormones!

You must want me to frown!

I simply can’t see

     why you won’t settle down.

If you just disappeared it would tickle me pink.

Hormones! Oh, Hormones!

I hate you!  You stink!

***original is here

The good, the bad, and the ugly

For my birthday, I requested a family membership at a local gym. Tonight was my first meeting with a personal trainer - something I haven't actually done since before I was married. Mark and I are actually working together with a trainer, so it's kind of fun to laugh at how out of shape we are. So, that's good, right? We're working out. We're laughing. We're taking the kids with us because the gym has fun programs for them. We're spending time together. We're working on a common goal. Nevermind that I nearly passed out during the workout. Dehydrated much? The last time I felt this physically taxed, I had just given birth to another human being.

The bad part is, my legs feel like a combination of jello and concrete. I'm almost certain that I'll be unable to walk up the stairs to take a shower. Ever again. Seriously. My thighs were shaking after I winced up every stair to say goodnight to my kids. I don't think I can lift my arms to wash my face or brush my teeth. The only muscles that don't hurt right now are in my fingers. 

I'm too tired to move.

Tomorrow morning should be interesting.

Wish me luck.

Break Two, Get The Third Free

Alex broke his wrist yesterday. He's doing fine (thanks to the Tylenol with codeine), but will have to go in for outpatient surgery tomorrow. Something called a closed reduction. I swear Dr. Tuten must love us. We haven't lived here for quite three years, but we've made three pilgrimages to his office now. Three broken bones in less than three years. I'd say we're due for a customer loyalty discount.

As Promised

 

Here's the dining room before, during, and after. I hope you can tell which is which..... If not, I may have more work to do. Pictures of the cursed door (you should pronounce cursed with two syllables) are in my flickr side bar.

This Week at Lake Wobegon

I always knew Alex was above average, musically speaking. He likes to sing, listen to music. and play the piano. He especially likes to figure out how to play things without sheet music - and he's pretty good at it. Mark is pretty musical himself, so that my children are comes as no surprise.

Just the other morning, Alex came running into the kitchen "Mom, Mom - listen to this! It's Ode to Joy!" . Imagine my surprise (and by surprise I mean dismay ) as Alex proceeded to armfart his way through the first few bars of Beethoven's masterpiece. He was so proud of himself for figuring it out.

"Wow" I said, "I've never heard anything like that before".

In other news, Alex has also told his second grade class that he wants to be called A.J. instead of Alex. It's going to take me a while to get used to that.

Sarah's acclimating herself to middle school quite well, and though she needs a few reminders to stay organized and ahead of the paper load, she is quite the responsible young lady. She gets herself up, showers, and makes her own lunch for the day. Now if only Mom could make sure Sarah has clean socks and underwear in the morning........

Mark's latest project is the laundry closet. He's making a laminate counter top to fit above the washer & dryer, so that I have another flat surface to cover with clutter place to fold and sort laundry. He is also going to install shelves and bins to replace the useless piece o'crap cabinets that used to live in that space.

The school year is off to a slow start. It's the third week of school already, and I feel like we haven't made much progress. The good news is that this group of sixth graders seems much less feral than last year's.  Tonight is the dog and pony show otherwise known as Back To School Night. Really, how much does a parent really get from sitting in my room for five minutes?